What Would You Do?....

I’m lying here on a very dreary and cold autumn day contemplating what I would do for a Klondike Bar. Just how far would I go? In the commercials, people do senseless, trivial stuff like imitate a monkey. Yeah, as if that’s a big stretch for most humans…. both by basic theory of evolution and physiology, and then mentally. Humans are not the most intelligent creatures on the planet and they tend to embarrass themselves easily and far too often. I’m continuously amazed by this fact. One would think that after 17 years observing the moronic behaviors of humans, that I would be unphased and unshockable by their actions. But they just keep plummeting in intelligence and dignity as they achieve new levels of idiocy. Take for example American Idol. I’ve watched the tryouts… forced myself to endure a few hours in the attempt to understand the hubbub and bizarre fascination with it. Suffice it to say, I just don’t get it. All I saw was frighteningly large masses of people very eager to make total asses of themselves on national television in from of millions of viewers. I understand that many of these morons are doing it as a ruse, for their own amusement… for the sole purpose of having the slim chance of their brief clip of ridiculousness being aired on television. And for this slim chance, they really don’t mind acting like assholes. They have no shame. And then you’ve got the poor clueless, tone-deaf buffoons for whom you almost feel sorry… the ones who succeed in making complete spectacles of themselves and who suck, but truly believe with every fiber of their being (and some with actual endorsement and praise from family and friends) that they are good. And some spectators even feel compelled to tears as they watch their reactions as Simon, Randy and Retardo Paula squash their egos and rip apart their performances.

So I wonder… how low would you go? And would you do it for a Klondike Bar?