No Worries

My dear friends, worry not. I am home and doing OK. I'm just very tired and waiting for my tests to come back so I can start on some medication to help me feel better. I'm old and I have to come to terms with this. I've lived a long time with only a health skirmish here and there - nothing major. This turn in health was inevitable. I am lucky to have avoided any probems all this time. Unfortunately, someone needs to help my mom accept this. She is NOT having an easy time of this and despite her incredible strength, I fear she will either fall apart or hide in a deep cave of denial. She is an emotional woman but likes to mask her feelings to be tough... so instead she'll get angry, deny she's hurting, say she doesn't care, pretend she isn't worried, act like something doesn't matter, go into all out bitch mode, and of course use insults, sarcasm and humor to deflect (her general MO in life) - you name it. Anything to avoid showing her vulnerability. But when it comes to me, she goes soft. I am her emotional kryptonite. So, I have saved up my energy this afternoon with naps so that I can spend some time with mom to reassure her that I'm ok and not going anywhere. We'll chill & cuddle in bed like we've done for 17 1/2 years and tonight we'll watch Dr. Drew together and be thankful we are not those people!