Mission Accomplished

Rufus was hanging out the other day, picking through the leaf piles looking for dropped candy from Halloween trick-or-treaters. He loves Snickers and Peanut M&M’s… I’ll have t remind him not to give any to Parker – dogs aren’t supposed to have chocolate. Anyway, while he was on his candy scavenger hunt, he overheard Mrs. Dirtbag from the Sanford & Son house talking to one of our good neighbors. The conversation has revealed the underlying cause behind their recent attempts at “home improvements.” It seems that Mrs. Dirtbag, the people who live in the house across from them (whom we’ll call the messy Rooster house) and the people who live in the corner house diagonally from the Dirtbags (whom we’ll call the broken down 80’s limo and jungle house) all got letters from the town addressing their infractions on the town blight laws. All three houses were instructed to address specific items respective to their properties.

Since then, there has been some improvement, but all three houses still look like ass. The Sanford & Son house now has a brown fence but it is still not fully enclosing the property so you can still see the disgusting contents of their yard. And, they have replaced that makeshift garage that they dissembled with a new one. Was Johnny #5 over there saying “Reassemble Stephanie. Reassemble.”?....

Now the Rooster House has never been quite so bad… they try very hard to keep the house looking presentable but it’s always cluttered, and I believe the main point of contention to be the roosters, of which they have more than one. Now contrary to popular belief, roosters do not only crow at the break of dawn. They do it before dawn and all throughout the day, up until dark. I don’t think having the roosters is illegal… only if the people are using them for cock-fighting, which would have to be proven. Dad laughs when I say cock-fighting. He’s so immature.

Now, as for the Limo and Jungle House… it also still looks like ass. This house has had a broken down circa 1980 model limo sitting on their front lawn since before the day we moved into the neighborhood. The house and limo have been left to be consumed by weeds and all sorts of plant life, including bright green moss. While it appears that the people who reside within the house have made an attempt to clear out some of that vegetation, the limo still sits there. I don’t understand the purpose of keeping old, broken down cars on your property. Will someone PLEASE explain this to me? Finding the answer to this question may be my new mission....